He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
