I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
