Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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