we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
