I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
