we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
