Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What happened to fro yo and sex?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
