Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
