I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
