I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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