No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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