I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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