when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
