why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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