he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
