trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
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So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
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My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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