The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
