I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
