yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
