so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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