i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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