i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize