I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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