i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
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