I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
