i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
