i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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