if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
