so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
