So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
