im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
this will be a night to untag.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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