you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
