ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
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He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
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We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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