it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
wow bdsm is so cute
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
