I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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