My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
