instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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