Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize