He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
