wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
