Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
