He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
