tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
everyone is single if you try hard enough
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My vagina just recognized that song.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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