thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
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I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
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OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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