ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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