Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
