Will you blow on my dice?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize