at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
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I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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