hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
