i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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