so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
