Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
