Kiss
Puke
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
