I think im going to throw up on grandma
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
