I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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