apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She bit a glass in half.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
