ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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