looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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