I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize