I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
