Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
