You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
