Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize