Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
