she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
