absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
